Who am I? If I’m honest, I’m still trying to figure that out and I get really uncomfortable when someone asks me.
I am my past, with all its obscurity, shadows and unanswered questions. I am my present, filled with daily struggles which challenge me and help me to grow and change. I am my future, filled with unimaginable purpose, hope and discovery.
I am a Christian. Have been for 30 years. I struggle to understand and live out what it means to be a child of God. The majority of my time has been spent on the battlefield, with God on one side and me on the other. Philippians 2:12 instructs me to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I have spent more time working things out whilst wading around in the muddy swamps than I have dancing on the mountaintops. But just as the swamps are critically dependent on the water that surrounds it, I am dependent on God who promises to be living water to my soul. I struggle deeply, but I still believe.
I am a mother of 3 amazing children, a loving, supportive husband and a doting dog and parrot. My family keep me grounded and rooted in the present and I life wouldn’t be as colourful if they weren’t in it. They are a true treasure!
I am an entrepreneur, who together with my husband, formed a stone restoration company in the Surrey area around 5 years ago. I would love to see people’s lives restored in the same way that we restore heritage buildings to their former glory.
From the age of 13 I wanted to help hurting people and the older I get the more that desire has turned into a burning passion to help broken people. I have a passion to see broken lives transformed.
For years I’ve struggled with the existence of both my faith and excruciating emotional pain, two apparent opposites, cohabiting the same soul. I’ve spent years trying to conform to what the church have led me to believe about what it means to be a Christian and how I should serve God. I’m now exhausted from trying to be enough for God. Trying to be enough of anything. I have this incredible ability to move my own goal posts.
After listening to other people’s stories, mine included, I believe those struggles are more the norm than the exception. We’re all just too afraid if people know our struggles, we’ll be found wanting. While we keep it secret, we can entertain the belief that we can find a way to make the grade. But I believe that no matter our differences or backgrounds, in spite of the limps we inherit along life’s journey as we drag our baggage behind us, when two stories collide, pain is shared, tears are cried and in spite of how messy it gets, one thing is certain…you’re not alone anymore.
I believe broken people aren’t looking for a cure. We don’t want platitudes, we don’t want plasters for a gaping wound and we don’t necessarily want to be rescued. We just want someone to come alongside us and sit with us long enough until we figure things out.